Courage

It's amazing how only a couple of things that change or come to light in a day or two can make you change the way you think, feel, and encourage yourself.

You see you might think I'm crazy for this or off in one way or another, but you feel so great that you just think, no, know that you are on top of the world. And don't confuse what I'm saying with "I know it all" because no one "knows it all". I am simply saying that I feel like a million bucks right now, and I'm on only a few hours of sleep and I have to be at a "second job" per-say at 9am, although this is only a temp. one day thing to help a friend out but then shortly after that I have to go to my regular job and I feel that I can handle it all because these last two days have shown me an enormous amount of courage, power, or some sort of force that helps me to achieve all that I set out to do.

I feel as though I'm a lion, king (or in my case Queen) of my territory, with no one to push me around and put me down. My feelings of jealousy, sadness, shyness, selflessness, and hopelessness has just been lifted off my shoulders and I feel as though today is a new beginning for me. A new adventure to look forward to, to change my way of life, my way of thinking, my way of emotional distress. But yet still be able to hold on to the same values and morals instilled by my family.

I ask one thing of you, If ever my physical, emotional, and mental transformation come to change my morals and values, please tell me, let me know. My feelings well not be hurt, my life will not end, and I will never show hatred toward a fellow human. I say this because I want to be a better person physically, emotionally, and mentally so that I am better suited to help others, not myself. I DO NOT EVER WANT TO SEE MYSELF, PUTTING MYSELF BEFORE OTHERS! I will never belittle another human for as long as God allows me to. But please do not confuse belittle with truth, I will not lie to someone only to cause them harm, but I will tell them the truth, harsh or not, to help them achieve greatness within themselves.

At times my words can get harsh to certain individuals, but believe me when I say that I do not do this to hurt them rather to let them see that what they are doing is not helping them or others, just hurting. I have a friend (lets call her "A")who on a constant basis complains about being treated "wrongfully" by another one of our friends (we'll call her "B"), and one day she began to get snippy with me. Well I flat out told her "A" that I do no like being treated that way and that I unlike her will not put up with being treated as a joke, or a "nobody". She got rather upset and got even snippier saying that she was not doing such a thing. Well later that week, she "A" was being treated the same by friend "B" and she then finally after years of putting up with such "crap" stood up for herself for the first time since "B" began treating her less and less of a friend and more as an object. Well "A" called me to tell me that she finally stood up to "B" and she did not feel bad for it either. That she did not feel as though she had done something wrong. And I then confessed to her that my having told her what I did the week prior was exactly for that, to prove to her that no one should be treated any less than what they are, A CHILD OF GOD, A LIVING, BREATHING, HUMAN! And that no she did not do something wrong. Because standing up for yourself, and your self esteem is not wrong.

So if ever I start to get snobby, or sassy, or self-indulged. SLAP ME! HARD!

Always PurpleFuel