Marriage
I've been thinking about this lately and funny enough something’s have come up in these last couple of days that just push me to talk about it.
1) My sister-in-law talks to me about her family, and how they are ready to move into their new house and so on. It's amazing because she and I are about the same age (actually I'm 4 months Older) but anyways my brother who is (I’m not exactly sure on this) but 9 or 10 years older then her made a very valid point to her. She was crying one day and complaining about I don't know what and he mentioned to her to look at her life and figure out exactly how many 21 year olds (this was a while back) have what she has at the moment, new truck paid off, a new house, kids, husband and a great job that she enjoys. And she and I talked about this yesterday and I could not help but agree with what my brother said, I am 22 years old and have not come to terms with what I'm going to do with myself. Sure I have an Associate in Culinary Arts, I'm working on my Bachelors in Business but where exactly am I headed in my life.
2) I read a blog entry just a few moments ago and it had to deal with a 28 year old male who says he has always dreamt of getting married and having kids. And this I say is great; I mean anyone male or female that even dreams about this and can show face and say this is what I want in life I think is up for the biggest challenge in life. And you know marriage I don't think is the problem by all means I look forward to the day that I say "I do" but rather the challenge in finding the "right one". A friend of mine who is so high strung on wanting someone to settle down with can not even realize what he is doing wrong. He can tell me to the dot what he wants his wife to look like, act, do; he can even tell me what he would love for her to cook. Which is great he knows what he wants, but he will not even give a woman the time of day if she does not automatically meet his physical requirements. She could have all the right requirements except the hair color and he will dismiss her like yesterdays leftovers. Which if he is as high strung as he makes it out to be, then now at his age of 33+ (I will not give his exact age for many reasons) I don't feel that he has the luxury of expecting to find someone to his exact liking. I mean falling in love I don't think deals with what you want the other person to be like, but rather what you can make together that will complete yourself. It's a mutual relationship. Not what you two agree on, but rather how you solve the disagreement.
3) I have a brother that just made a change in his life, he was a corrections officer at a prison and made a drastic move to quit his job and move. Give it; he gave me and others in my family different reasons for doing what he did. But my argument was that he mentioned to me it was to tuff on him to come home and be treating his own kids like inmates. Yes I do agree that he should NOT do this to his children, but what I mentioned to him is that if his wife is noticing this in him why is she not stepping in and saying "take a walk cool down". I told him that in a marriage it is to help make each other a better person, not who is in charge.
So anyways what is tearing at me is that I feel as though I don't know where I'm headed in my life. And most people say your only 22 don't worry, you have your whole life ahead of you. And I think about that but they don't know if I do or don't have my whole life ahead of me. My senior year in High school I attended 3 funerals. 1) 17 year old female friend of ours died of Leukemia, 2)19 year old male friend of ours died of and epilepsy attack while he was asleep, 3) uncle died of a massive heart attack. So I'm trying to figure out why I am being told that I have my whole life ahead of me if no one knows that. I want to make the most of my life right now that I'm young and am alive & well. I am at a job (that God knows I love) but as I've complained in past posts I have no life. I don't get to see my friends, I don't get to go out (be it to a club or to play pool, or a game). I have changed so much that I do not feel as though I am 22 years old. That may be my reason for feeling lonely or depressed or whatever the feeling may be but I feel as though I am 30+ years and I never had the chance to live my life. And I want to, but with this job and school part-time I don't think I will ever have that chance. It's not so much that people say you have your life ahead of you slow down. It's that I feel that my life as it stands now will be like this for the next... oh lets say at least 3-4 years, and then what I don't know if in those 3-4 years I get married or have kids or do something else and never have the chance to live a young single life. And what I find even weirder of this whole situation is that I want to have a meaningful relationship with someone that cares about me as much as I do them I would love nothing more then to take the next step in my life and have a family. But with this job I can not even manage to go out and meet my current friends, much less men. My last real date was over a year ago.
So I'm not angry because I can't live a young and eventful life that I've had. I have had my fair share of parties, clubs, etc. I'm angry and confused because I can not seem to get myself out of a rut to at least have some time with friends, family, meeting new people.
PurpleFuel
1) My sister-in-law talks to me about her family, and how they are ready to move into their new house and so on. It's amazing because she and I are about the same age (actually I'm 4 months Older) but anyways my brother who is (I’m not exactly sure on this) but 9 or 10 years older then her made a very valid point to her. She was crying one day and complaining about I don't know what and he mentioned to her to look at her life and figure out exactly how many 21 year olds (this was a while back) have what she has at the moment, new truck paid off, a new house, kids, husband and a great job that she enjoys. And she and I talked about this yesterday and I could not help but agree with what my brother said, I am 22 years old and have not come to terms with what I'm going to do with myself. Sure I have an Associate in Culinary Arts, I'm working on my Bachelors in Business but where exactly am I headed in my life.
2) I read a blog entry just a few moments ago and it had to deal with a 28 year old male who says he has always dreamt of getting married and having kids. And this I say is great; I mean anyone male or female that even dreams about this and can show face and say this is what I want in life I think is up for the biggest challenge in life. And you know marriage I don't think is the problem by all means I look forward to the day that I say "I do" but rather the challenge in finding the "right one". A friend of mine who is so high strung on wanting someone to settle down with can not even realize what he is doing wrong. He can tell me to the dot what he wants his wife to look like, act, do; he can even tell me what he would love for her to cook. Which is great he knows what he wants, but he will not even give a woman the time of day if she does not automatically meet his physical requirements. She could have all the right requirements except the hair color and he will dismiss her like yesterdays leftovers. Which if he is as high strung as he makes it out to be, then now at his age of 33+ (I will not give his exact age for many reasons) I don't feel that he has the luxury of expecting to find someone to his exact liking. I mean falling in love I don't think deals with what you want the other person to be like, but rather what you can make together that will complete yourself. It's a mutual relationship. Not what you two agree on, but rather how you solve the disagreement.
3) I have a brother that just made a change in his life, he was a corrections officer at a prison and made a drastic move to quit his job and move. Give it; he gave me and others in my family different reasons for doing what he did. But my argument was that he mentioned to me it was to tuff on him to come home and be treating his own kids like inmates. Yes I do agree that he should NOT do this to his children, but what I mentioned to him is that if his wife is noticing this in him why is she not stepping in and saying "take a walk cool down". I told him that in a marriage it is to help make each other a better person, not who is in charge.
So anyways what is tearing at me is that I feel as though I don't know where I'm headed in my life. And most people say your only 22 don't worry, you have your whole life ahead of you. And I think about that but they don't know if I do or don't have my whole life ahead of me. My senior year in High school I attended 3 funerals. 1) 17 year old female friend of ours died of Leukemia, 2)19 year old male friend of ours died of and epilepsy attack while he was asleep, 3) uncle died of a massive heart attack. So I'm trying to figure out why I am being told that I have my whole life ahead of me if no one knows that. I want to make the most of my life right now that I'm young and am alive & well. I am at a job (that God knows I love) but as I've complained in past posts I have no life. I don't get to see my friends, I don't get to go out (be it to a club or to play pool, or a game). I have changed so much that I do not feel as though I am 22 years old. That may be my reason for feeling lonely or depressed or whatever the feeling may be but I feel as though I am 30+ years and I never had the chance to live my life. And I want to, but with this job and school part-time I don't think I will ever have that chance. It's not so much that people say you have your life ahead of you slow down. It's that I feel that my life as it stands now will be like this for the next... oh lets say at least 3-4 years, and then what I don't know if in those 3-4 years I get married or have kids or do something else and never have the chance to live a young single life. And what I find even weirder of this whole situation is that I want to have a meaningful relationship with someone that cares about me as much as I do them I would love nothing more then to take the next step in my life and have a family. But with this job I can not even manage to go out and meet my current friends, much less men. My last real date was over a year ago.
So I'm not angry because I can't live a young and eventful life that I've had. I have had my fair share of parties, clubs, etc. I'm angry and confused because I can not seem to get myself out of a rut to at least have some time with friends, family, meeting new people.
PurpleFuel
posted by Unknown at 3:18 AM
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